Something I should have done, and highly recommend

Last Friday while me and my husband were at our church's youth group, and I was chatting with our Pastor he was asking how I was going. Just after I got fired I had asked to get some counseling so I could just work through how I was feeling, but things came up and I was able to go through with the counseling. On Friday night our Pastor brought up the counseling and I thought that it was a good idea.

So that is where I went today; and honestly I am glad that I did. It was just nice to talk about everything, not just about losing my job but also about other things in my life that have or are affecting me. He also helped me develop a sort of plan of attack, especially when it comes to the negative thoughts from the enemy that can sometimes get into my head.

1/ Recognise the negative thoughts for what they are and make an effort change my thinking to something more positive.

2/ Set a side 1 to 3 afternoons a week as active job search days, where I drop off resumes search the internet and go and join job agencies.

3/ Go and do some work with a volunteer organisation, thinking about going back to work for a rainforest reserve or local zoo.

4/ As a last resort think about furthering my education, doing a bridging course and becoming a teacher (not sure about this one, not sure if teaching is really for me)

The most important thing is that I have someone other than my husband to be accountable for. That I think is going to be the key to fighting the negative thought and depressive feelings that I have been struggling with.

I am so blessed to have such a caring and supportive Pastor, sometimes you can feel alittle isolated when you have been unemployed for an extended period of time but my Pastor didn't forget, and has always just checked in from time to time. Counseling is something that I totally recommend, especially if you can find some who you can be accountable to, especially if you are finding it hard to stay motivated. Which I am starting to find difficult.

My Pastor did bring up something that I hadn't thought of but know of all to well, that I have to be open that my not having a job right now could have a really important reason behind it. I have experienced that often in the last few years, I was at the first job for 5 years I didn't like the job and tried everything to get another job. Then my Mum had to be hospitalised with depression for a whole year and I had to look after her and my siblings as my Dad had to move north for work. Then a few years later Mum suffered complications from some heart surgery and I sat by her side and helped Dad look after himself and my sister. I wouldn't have been able to be there for my family if not for my boss at my first job, he allowed me to reduce my hours where needed and have time off when I required it, he was a blessing and I am very grateful for him. I have had opportunity to help friends and family over the last month and a bit (which I have spoken about in previous blogs).

Ultimately I know that God has a plan for my life, just don't know what that plan is or what will happen in the future. Who knows we might start a family and won't have to worry about finding a new job at all, well...God knows, he just won't let on. But I will keep praying and reading my bible, oh yeah and having faith.

Much needed Mojo boost

Today was soooo what I needed and I didn't even know it. My friend invited me over for a scrapbooking day, I pack up the holiday album that I havn't been doing anything about and printed off enough photos to complete 6 pages and off I went.

Honestly wasn't sure that I wanted to go, think that was probably the depressive feelings talking. Didn't want to waste petrol or have to be around other people. But my ever wonderful, knows what is good for me husband said that he would leave work and drive me if I didn't go myself. So I went....and I am very glad that I did (don't tell my husband :-) ). It was so nice sitting there and chatting with friends and getting back to a hobby that I love very much. I think that I have been neglecting something that would make me feel really good.

Best thing is that I was able to complete all 6 pages that I brought photos for, which was great 'cause they just came together quite smoothly. One I am very proud of, and it was probably the one that came together the fastest.

That is one thing that I learnt today, I shouldn't neglect my passion. My husband says that I have a talent, and if that is true then that is something that God gave me. Something that I am suppose to enjoy, and shouldn't just close the door on this hobby.

Funny how when things get tight, money wise anyway. Things you find just simply enjoyable you feel guilty for enjoying them. That really shouldn't be, these are the times for these hobbies and activities, if you feel good and happy then that will come across in interviews and in life in general. And for me personally anything that keeps me busy and thinking positive is a good thing.

One a slightly different topic we found out today that my husband's brother and his wife are expecting their second child. About 5 weeks along, they already have one son who we love very much and love having him over. And the family is looking forward to meeting this new addition to the family.

Just when I thought I was winning

The battle against my depressive feelings was something I thought I was winning, I had a great plan for today and the rest of the week. I was feeling quite good, considering. Then the phone rang.....it was the person that I had the interview with last Monday. She said that they didn't have any positions for me, I was glad being actually told but it was a bit of a kick in the guts. And it was the end of my motivation for the day.

The one thing I have been afraid of is getting so down that I just retreat inside myself and sit on the couch all day eating and watching bad day time TV. Day time TV is always bad. I really thought that I was doing well, but this has just shown me that I still have a long way to go.

We were at friends of our yesterday for lunch after church, and we were talking about unemployment and people who are dole bludgers. And it came up that on average people at the moment (in this economic climate) are without work for 140days, I have been unemployed for about 1 month, so about 30 days. I found that 140days quite depressing, but I am still determined that I am going to get a job, this is one of the best times to be looking for work. This time of the year is prime for employers to be looking for more employees, I wouldn't mind Christmas casual work atleast it would be extra money over the Christmas season.

Ok, now I have to try again tomorrow. I am going to wake up and actually do stuff not sit around and feel sorry for myself. Tomorrow is always another day, God has a plan and I just have to wait.