Thursday, October 29, 2009
So that is where I went today; and honestly I am glad that I did. It was just nice to talk about everything, not just about losing my job but also about other things in my life that have or are affecting me. He also helped me develop a sort of plan of attack, especially when it comes to the negative thoughts from the enemy that can sometimes get into my head.
1/ Recognise the negative thoughts for what they are and make an effort change my thinking to something more positive.
2/ Set a side 1 to 3 afternoons a week as active job search days, where I drop off resumes search the internet and go and join job agencies.
3/ Go and do some work with a volunteer organisation, thinking about going back to work for a rainforest reserve or local zoo.
4/ As a last resort think about furthering my education, doing a bridging course and becoming a teacher (not sure about this one, not sure if teaching is really for me)
The most important thing is that I have someone other than my husband to be accountable for. That I think is going to be the key to fighting the negative thought and depressive feelings that I have been struggling with.
I am so blessed to have such a caring and supportive Pastor, sometimes you can feel alittle isolated when you have been unemployed for an extended period of time but my Pastor didn't forget, and has always just checked in from time to time. Counseling is something that I totally recommend, especially if you can find some who you can be accountable to, especially if you are finding it hard to stay motivated. Which I am starting to find difficult.
My Pastor did bring up something that I hadn't thought of but know of all to well, that I have to be open that my not having a job right now could have a really important reason behind it. I have experienced that often in the last few years, I was at the first job for 5 years I didn't like the job and tried everything to get another job. Then my Mum had to be hospitalised with depression for a whole year and I had to look after her and my siblings as my Dad had to move north for work. Then a few years later Mum suffered complications from some heart surgery and I sat by her side and helped Dad look after himself and my sister. I wouldn't have been able to be there for my family if not for my boss at my first job, he allowed me to reduce my hours where needed and have time off when I required it, he was a blessing and I am very grateful for him. I have had opportunity to help friends and family over the last month and a bit (which I have spoken about in previous blogs).
Ultimately I know that God has a plan for my life, just don't know what that plan is or what will happen in the future. Who knows we might start a family and won't have to worry about finding a new job at all, well...God knows, he just won't let on. But I will keep praying and reading my bible, oh yeah and having faith.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
But I was wrong, I can't remember how it started but I have been emailing a friends who works at a local TAFE campus who has been keeping an eye out for work. She has even giving me a number of a person who I can get into contact with. I am very grateful to my friend, it is nice to not feel alone. Sometimes you can feel very alone, cause unless someone is actually unemployed then no one else really knows what it feels like. But it is really nice to have someone take it upon themselves to help in anyway that they can.
I have been applying for a few jobs every week, there are not as many Christmas casual position around as I would have thought, but I guess that probably reflects this whole GFC (Global Financial Crisis) that businesses aren't hiring extra staff for the Christmas season. Which is a shame for myself, being able to atleast get some Christmas casual work would mean that I could still exercise my skills in the retail field and I do believe that it would count for me when going for interviews.
I decided that it was a good idea to get some counseling from my Pastor. This is probably something that I should have started a month ago, I still feel very lost and I really think that I am starting to lose a bit of momentum. Finding it hard to just sit infront of the computer searching for job, writing cover letters and filling in application forms. It is getting harder and harder. So I am hoping that getting some counseling will help me kick myself back into action. because if you are really want to find work, then searching for work should be your full time job. You should put as much effort into finding a job as you would if you were going to work everyday.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I really enjoyed building the veggie patch this afternoon. Something about being outside and just letting the hours pass moving dirt and playing with water. Above all else this garden means that I am contributing to the grocery bill, and it is healthier for us.
I am just so happy about what I have been able to achieve in one afternoon, I know that I can do almost anything that I set my mind to, and alittle planning too. It has taken me three days to get this veggie patch going. I don't like to do things too quickly, I find that you don't do things well if you do things too quickly. There really is nothing wrong with doing alittle planning before doing anything.
I plan to the point where I have a written plan of my new veggie patch and am already mentally planning the idea of having a compost heap or worm farm. Thinking the later is the best bet as we don't produce alot of scraps only being the two of us. There I go! More planning, I really think that my natural want to plan is the key to surviving being unemployed, though it is still important to remember that ultimately no matter how much I plan I am not incharge and that God has a plan for me.
Tomorrow I am itching to get into the garden again, this time I want to weed some of the other garden beds. We also have Youth Group tomorrow night, we are playing basketball, which means that we will have a good turn out. We have a big turn out when we play netball and basketball is more of a game that more of the Youth (particularly the boys) enjoy so we could very well have a huge turn out!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Honestly wasn't sure that I wanted to go, think that was probably the depressive feelings talking. Didn't want to waste petrol or have to be around other people. But my ever wonderful, knows what is good for me husband said that he would leave work and drive me if I didn't go myself. So I went....and I am very glad that I did (don't tell my husband :-) ). It was so nice sitting there and chatting with friends and getting back to a hobby that I love very much. I think that I have been neglecting something that would make me feel really good.
Best thing is that I was able to complete all 6 pages that I brought photos for, which was great 'cause they just came together quite smoothly. One I am very proud of, and it was probably the one that came together the fastest.
That is one thing that I learnt today, I shouldn't neglect my passion. My husband says that I have a talent, and if that is true then that is something that God gave me. Something that I am suppose to enjoy, and shouldn't just close the door on this hobby.
Funny how when things get tight, money wise anyway. Things you find just simply enjoyable you feel guilty for enjoying them. That really shouldn't be, these are the times for these hobbies and activities, if you feel good and happy then that will come across in interviews and in life in general. And for me personally anything that keeps me busy and thinking positive is a good thing.
One a slightly different topic we found out today that my husband's brother and his wife are expecting their second child. About 5 weeks along, they already have one son who we love very much and love having him over. And the family is looking forward to meeting this new addition to the family.
Monday, October 19, 2009
The one thing I have been afraid of is getting so down that I just retreat inside myself and sit on the couch all day eating and watching bad day time TV. Day time TV is always bad. I really thought that I was doing well, but this has just shown me that I still have a long way to go.
We were at friends of our yesterday for lunch after church, and we were talking about unemployment and people who are dole bludgers. And it came up that on average people at the moment (in this economic climate) are without work for 140days, I have been unemployed for about 1 month, so about 30 days. I found that 140days quite depressing, but I am still determined that I am going to get a job, this is one of the best times to be looking for work. This time of the year is prime for employers to be looking for more employees, I wouldn't mind Christmas casual work atleast it would be extra money over the Christmas season.
Ok, now I have to try again tomorrow. I am going to wake up and actually do stuff not sit around and feel sorry for myself. Tomorrow is always another day, God has a plan and I just have to wait.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
This concept that I have heard before and I found this website No Dig Vegetable Garden and I found that it is an easy to do concept.
Basically what you do is make layers on top of the dirt/grass/concrete hence 'no dig', the recipe I am going to use is basically;
Layer 1 - cardboard/newspaper 5mm depth
Layer 2 - hay (but I am going to use sugarcane mulch as I already have a bale) 10cm depth
Layer 3 - Fertiliser/manure 20mm depth
Layer 4 - Straw (again I am using sugarcane mulch) 20cm depth
Layer 5 - Fertiliser / manure 20mm
Layer 6 - Compost 10cm
Then you water the garden bed, and that's it. I did find on the site in a discussion board that when you plant you make a hole and add some more compost or potting mix. The thing that I really like is that planting can happen straight away. I am going to get the boxes from my husbands work and the manure & compost from Bunnings. So hopefully by this time tomorrow I should that a new veggie patch up and running. Yeah!
I'll try to remember to take some pictures and I'll post them later this week.
On the job front I didn't get the job that I had an interview for at the beginning of the week, I really love the feeling when you get an interview. You get this great feeling that you are a worthy person, that you have worth. Now I must make it clear that my worth does come from my relationship with my Heavenly Father, but being unemployed does make you feel less than human alittle. The worse feeling is after the interview is over and all you have to do is wait, waiting is the hardest. And the longer you wait the more your self worth feels like it is being sucked out.
I really don't know how people willingly stay unemployed, I find it so hard. I have to make specific plans and lists to keep myself as busy as possible just to stop myself from getting down and depressed. But I will keep going, I need to get a job, so we can save more and get our house sooner. It is really good to have that goal, something to look towards.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Outside my window... A starlite sky, looks like a black satin sheet with fairy lights stuck in it. So incredibly beautiful, the stars go on forever. Psalm 147:4 He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.
I am thinking... About the BBQ we are having with some of our friends tomorrow, and how nice it will be to sit back and just hang out with friends.
I am thankful for... This house, the fact that we have the best landlords that have a tendency to forget that we are renting off them.
From the kitchen... Honey & Sesame chicken, new recipe and it certainly went down well. Defiantly think that it will become apart of a normal dinner routine. Also made a batch of chocolate chip cookies (yummy!)
I am wearing... My favourite clothes, PJ's! I love to be comfortable, and the most comfortable thing to wear is defiantly my PJ's. Stay in them all day if it wouldn't look alittle strange.
I am creating... An album about our holiday to Cairns this year, also planning some monogram artwork for our bedroom wall.
I am going... Around in circles, which is how I have been feeling lately. I have been unemployed for about a month now and I do feel alittle lost.
I am reading... The bible, one thing that I am glad about being unemployed about I have really been able to sit down and read the bible and do a daily devotion. Though I have been feeling alittle lost getting into God's Word has really kept me from spinning out of control.
I am hoping... For a job to come along before Christmas.
I am hearing... Taggart, a TV show about a Scottish Detective. We love British crime drama, though I have watched so many crime dramas that usually I can guess what is going to happen before it happens.
Around the house... Things seem bigger, I have been doing alot of cleaning and reorganised of late. Being that our house doesn't have alot of built in storage (pretty much none) reorganising has to happen alot.
One of my favorite things... Our pet bird Curio, brings so much joy to my life. He spent most of the day today outside in his cage with me singing to all the other birds.
A few plans for the rest of the week: Build a veggie patch in the backyard to replace the old one that has been shaded out by our neighbours trees, and apply for more jobs.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...
Revelations 3:18 here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and open the door, I will come in and eat with them, and they with me.
This picture comes from the Hubble telescope ( http://hubblesite.org/gallery/album/entire/pr1992017a/), though it isn't on that I have taken. It is a picture that I have been feeling very inspired and bowled over by.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
But the best thing about today was my new glasses finally turned up. A friend of ours told us about this website that she uses to buy her glasses, you can get a pair of glasses for as little as $8. I got two pairs for about $45, including postage and handling (I think). I have been waiting for these glasses for about 2 weeks now, I lost my last pair of glasses and have been getting loads of headaches. Funny thing is that I found my glasses that I lost on Monday while me and my husband were preparing for a bushwalk. I am going to give my old glasses to charity, there is a collection spot at my local shopping centre, they recycle the glasses and give them to poor people in thrid world countries.
It is amazing how simple things can really lift the way that you feel, I am going to have to try every day to focus on the simple things and not think about the fact that I don't have a job and all I really do all day is wait for my husband to get home. I think that is a really struggle for people who are unemployied, especially me. Have to give yourself things to achieve and be able to feel good about.
I'll post some pictures this week of my new glasses, they are so cute! Amazing how the little things can make your whole out look on things change.
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.
It came with the description 'Good times' can be less helpful than 'tough times'; and the 'hard times' can be better for you than the 'easy times'. Whatever changes and challenges come your way; whether planned or unexpected, whether you feel like you're going forward or sliding backwards - God is waiting for you to turn to him and know him.
I am defiantly going through 'hard times' at the moment, looking for work and going to interviews has been really hard especially emotionally. I will say the worse thing is being at home, especially when there is nothing to do, I just feel lost and very lonely. These are the times when I find myself wanting to pick up my bible and read, God is waiting for me.
My daily devotion comes from Word 4 U 2 day from UCB, you can get your own copy at their website www.word4u2day.com.au (only available postage in Australia), you can also read their devotions online.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Though I know things happen the way He wants, and that doesn't always (actually hardly ever) end up looking the way that we expect. It does lift your faith to have a prayer answered in a way that you can actually see and recognise as an answer to a prayer, makes to soooo much easier to remember to praise God.
This rain has been so good, particularly because it has cleared up all the dust that was still in the air from the dust storms about a fortnight ago. Though the weather guy said tonight that another dust storm is on the way, not a surprise with the gail force winds we have been experiencing today.
Monday, October 12, 2009
It did to me today, I was doing my devotional this morning before my husband got up and I was flipping to a passage when Philippians opened to a page where previously I had circled a couple of verses that just shouted at me.
'Don't be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God' Philippians 4:6
'I can do all this through him who gives me strength' Philippians 4:13
These verses are just what I needed to read this morning as I prepared to go for my interview this morning. By the way I think the interview went well, not sure that I got to say everything that I wanted to say. But I tried my best and that is all that you can do. I will keep praying that I have gotten this job, it would be a great company to get involved with. But I was so blessed to get these verses this morning, they gave me the confidence that I can get this job that I am what this company is looking for.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
'Love the Lord your God with all your heart...' Deuteronomy 6:5
The devotional that cam along with this verse wasn't what you would expect associated with this verse, but it did speak to me alot. It talked about the different masks we put on for other people and different situations. And how we can't and shouldn't try to do that with God, that he knows us behind the mask, and that we should take the masks off and love the Lord with all your heart (Deut 6:5).
I defiantly know that I do this, or was doing this alot. Especially at work, I felt alot of pressure to be just like everyone else. Everyone was into (on pretending to be into) grooming and the way they looked and I was buying into it. I became obsessive about the way I was presenting at work, whether I had a hair out of place or a pimple. Everyone was into golf (which I do enjoy but only in a par 3 setting, which was looked down on) and my boss was into yoga and obsessively into 'healthy living'. None of that is me I shouldn't need to put on a mask to be accepted by others. I need to focus more on loving God and that attitude will shine through.
I get my devotions from UCB Word 4 U 2 day, it is a great devotional series for teenagers and young adults. You can get your copy on their website www.word4U2day.com.au (only available in Australia).
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Our car is starting to look like a moving company, with boxes and newspaper!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
This is something we did at Girls group (girls only bible study), everyone wrote their name on the top of a piece of paper, then the pieces of paper were passed around and everyone wrote something positive & affirming about that person on their piece of paper. I absolutely love mine, I framed it and it sits next to my scrapbooking desk. I look at it when ever I need a lift.
I actually painted this, something that I have always wanted to do. I am the first to admit that I am not a very good painter. But I am still very proud of this effort. I love having artwork around the house that was created by people we know, fills the house with the love and effort that went into each artwork.This is the first & easiest artwork I made for our house, out of total necessity. Our bedroom has a bad echo so I made this artwork to help absorb noise (and it looks great!). All it is is a square canvas and a piece of fabric, which I stapled onto the canvas and hung in our bedroom. Couldn't be easier.
A wonderful birthday present from my thoughtful husband, this canvas hangs above our bed (helping with the echo issue again). It hangs on an existing hook which is slightly off centre to the bed so I am planning on making three smaller canvas's with our initials and the date of our wedding. Also going to use this project ideas as something to do with the Girls group at church, I had a request for something 'arty'.
This next month is full of promise and opportunity can't wait to see what is to come.