My apologises!

I know, I know, I know it has been awhile, but life has gotten the best of me the last few weeks. Last weekend I attend our Church's first ever Girls Weekend Retreat, oh it was fantastic!

I spent three days with about 40 women from our church, ranging in age from 16 - 60 years. We went to Coolum Beach to a wonderful resort, that was just a walk across the road to the beach. The weatherman had been saying all week that a cold front was coming, bring rain and cold wind (not pleasant weather to be at the beach). But things turned out quite the opposite! Beautiful clear blue skies, and warming sunshine the whole weekend.

I climbed Mt Coolum, ate wonderful food, participated in a sand castle building contest, helped to design & create a gown out of toilet paper, had great fellowship with other women & God, got a fantastic pair of free jeans in a clothes swap & bought a fabulous pair of shorts while shopping in the town.

Since coming home I have been under a huge mountain of laundry and have been battling the piles of things that pile up around our house unless you keep on top of it. But as of yesterday the house is back in order (yeah!!!!!).

Another reason for my blogging absence is that I have been working, yes....working. Parents of a friend of mine needed someone to do some filing and data entry, and my friend put my name forward. They work in Maroochydore on the waterfront, with loads of cafe's all around. Lunch is fabulous sitting near the water, reading a magazine and watching the world go by. It has been so nice to be working again, and I am so thankful to God for his faithfulness and the fact that in my darkest moments he was there to comfort me. God is good!

This is not a full time position, but extremely casual which suits us. I have a great passion for the work that I have been doing with my church thorough our Youth Group and the preteen mentoring group and was apprehensive at the thought of getting a job and having to give up these groups. But God has provided a way of working and making alittle extra money, without giving up the things that God had brought into my life to give me a sense of purpose.

I am going to post some of the pictures from my weekend at the Girls retreat. Just have to crop and edit (I must admit one of my favourite things!)

The drought has broken

I'm not referring to the amount of rain that we have been having lately, though nice to have a full tank going into winter. But the job interview drought that I have been experiencing. It has been quite a few months since I have had an interview for any position. But this week I got two!

First is was a group interview for Smiggle that is on next Wednesday, then the very next day I got a phone call about a job interview that happened today. They are both casual positions and I would love either position. Being unemployed for 6 months is really wearing thin.

I think that I did quite well at the interview today, it is for a scrapbooking store about 30mins from my house. I might even be able to commute by the train which would be great. I am big into using public transport as much as possible, especially for commuting to and from work. It just doesn't make any sense for us to be driving both of our vehicles to work everyday. As much as I would like to think that I have nailed the interview and the job is practically mine, I have been down that road before. I think that is the hardest thing, the disappointment when you were so sure that you have the job in the bag. I made that mistake once and emotionally it almost destroyed me when they decided to go with someone else.

I have worked in a scrapbooking store before, only for a couple of months, the business wasn't run all that well. Wrong location and lack of the right kind of advertising mean that people weren't coming and there wasn't enough money coming in to justify my position. I understand that the store officially closed down last year, not surprised that it didn't last in the GFC (global financial crisis). That history made me alittle nervous about this job, it is again a new store, but this time is seems to be in a much better location (right on the road with pink windows so you can't miss it), the people running it have been working towards this for the past 10 years, they have a website (at this stage just informational, but still really great to see) and they are planning on doing advertising in a range of places and not relying on word of mouth. I think that this store has alot of potential, just have to pray that I am going to be apart of that potential.

Offically 6 months

With the end of February comes the 6 months anniversary of becoming unemployed. Nothing to celebrate and I'm not, but I have taken time to reflex on my journey. I think the hardest thing has been that I didn't realise that how I viewed myself was linked so heavily with the job that I had, that my identity was so wrapped up in my job. Now looking back that seems so crazy, why on earth did I allow that to happen. I am much more than what that job said about me.

I am still not sure where I am actually going, I know that God has a plan for me but as for what that is I just don't know. I do know that I am enjoying my life right now, I am busy, busy with things that bring me a great sense of satisfaction. Youth Group, Bible Study and the pre-teen girls mentoring program these are things that I absolutely love. I have a few other things coming along that I am looking forward to, so all and all I am happier than I ever was at my job.

So am going to keep on keeping on and trying my hardest to listen to what God is telling me, oh yeah and pray.

Late night post

I have been staying up late alot lately, I really enjoy this time of night. It is a peaceful quite and there is no pressure to do anything. Nothing has to happen, everything can wait for the morning. But there is a downside, I have to go to bed eventually.....especially since I have been forcing myself to get up at 8am every morning or there abouts.

I also find that this is when I feel the most peaceful, don't really know why. There is really nothing special about this time of the day that would make me feel peaceful. Guess I am just a night owl. Always have been, and I am defiantly not a morning person, there is a joke in the family that I am best at about noon and then it is all down hill from there.

Still haven't heard about the job that I interviewed for on Wednesday, I am hoping and praying that they needed the weekend to think about who they want to employ. I think that my application really throw a spanner in the works for their decision making process. But I will probably defiantly take a sense that I am someone who can impress, that my resume can catch a potential employers eye. That is a good thing.

Well blog readers I should go to bed, the one thing I have learnt during these last couple of months is that you have to keep going. Everyday you get up and go on with life is one day closer to getting your new job.

Something that spoken to my heart

I was doing my bible reading this morning and this verse which I had previously highlighted but still loved the words, and I think that it was something that I needed to hear.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
Psalm 62:2

I have been learning to rely on God more in my daily life, especially now with my unemployment which I have been struggling with. The enemy has been flooding my head some days with negative thoughts and guilt, but I have been fighting those thoughts and feelings. And this verse certainly does help the fight. No matter how I feel or what is going on God will not leave me, He has always been there, and when things are at it's worse I can rest in His embrace until I am strong enough to continue on.

I don't think that I have ever been so focused on fully relying on God this much before, I know through talking with my Pastor and my wonderful husband that I have to turn to God in this time, and He will give me the strength and guidance that I need. And that is so true, I can a test to that.

If that is one piece of advice that I can give to anyone who is unemployed and is struggling with depression and guilt, turn to God open a Bible and start reading. Also pray daily for guidance and strength.

Sorry I've been gone

Well it has been awhile, another new month has begun. Nothing really has changed since this time last month. Still unemployed, still searching. Honestly things have been getting harder, those negative thought have been alittle hard to silence at the moment. Though I havn't been being as proactive as I possibly should be with keeping active. I seem to have slipped into sitting on the couch, eating and watching the clock waiting for my husband to come home.

That has got to change, and it will change. Next week I am going to get into the garden, I am going to clean the house, sort my scrapbooking room and reorganise the kitchen if I have to. But there is no way I can let these voices beat me.

It would have to be one of the hardest things, silencing the voices. They seem to be getting louder and louder lately. My Pastor said that I have to think of something else that those voices could do me alot of harm (mentally). It is really hard to make purposeful changes to your inbuilt behaviour. I have to come up with a list of things that I can look forward to, things to aim for. That I think will be the secret of surviving this chapter of my life, this turning point. Please pray for strength for me.

Networking

It is one piece of advise that you always hear from 'experts', when you are looking for a job. Use the people you know as a network to find where the jobs are. Didn't really think that this was going to work for me, honestly I would feel bad asking friends and family if there was any jobs going at their places of work.

But I was wrong, I can't remember how it started but I have been emailing a friends who works at a local TAFE campus who has been keeping an eye out for work. She has even giving me a number of a person who I can get into contact with. I am very grateful to my friend, it is nice to not feel alone. Sometimes you can feel very alone, cause unless someone is actually unemployed then no one else really knows what it feels like. But it is really nice to have someone take it upon themselves to help in anyway that they can.

I have been applying for a few jobs every week, there are not as many Christmas casual position around as I would have thought, but I guess that probably reflects this whole GFC (Global Financial Crisis) that businesses aren't hiring extra staff for the Christmas season. Which is a shame for myself, being able to atleast get some Christmas casual work would mean that I could still exercise my skills in the retail field and I do believe that it would count for me when going for interviews.

I decided that it was a good idea to get some counseling from my Pastor. This is probably something that I should have started a month ago, I still feel very lost and I really think that I am starting to lose a bit of momentum. Finding it hard to just sit infront of the computer searching for job, writing cover letters and filling in application forms. It is getting harder and harder. So I am hoping that getting some counseling will help me kick myself back into action. because if you are really want to find work, then searching for work should be your full time job. You should put as much effort into finding a job as you would if you were going to work everyday.

I have a plan....No digging!

I have wanted to get a new veggie patch going, since our other one was shaded out by our neighbours trees. But finding a new place to build a veggie patch hasn't been easy, our backyard has a beautiful big tree right in the middle that unfortunately casts shade on one side of the backyard in the morning, and casts a shadow on the other side in the afternoon. Makes it difficult, but up against the fence there is a space that I think that I can build a garden. It is right next to a old palm tree, which have a nightmare of a root system, so I don't think that I am going to dig a garden. So I found....No Dig Garden.

This concept that I have heard before and I found this website No Dig Vegetable Garden and I found that it is an easy to do concept.

Basically what you do is make layers on top of the dirt/grass/concrete hence 'no dig', the recipe I am going to use is basically;

Layer 1 - cardboard/newspaper 5mm depth
Layer 2 - hay (but I am going to use sugarcane mulch as I already have a bale) 10cm depth
Layer 3 - Fertiliser/manure 20mm depth
Layer 4 - Straw (again I am using sugarcane mulch) 20cm depth
Layer 5 - Fertiliser / manure 20mm
Layer 6 - Compost 10cm

Then you water the garden bed, and that's it. I did find on the site in a discussion board that when you plant you make a hole and add some more compost or potting mix. The thing that I really like is that planting can happen straight away. I am going to get the boxes from my husbands work and the manure & compost from Bunnings. So hopefully by this time tomorrow I should that a new veggie patch up and running. Yeah!

I'll try to remember to take some pictures and I'll post them later this week.

On the job front I didn't get the job that I had an interview for at the beginning of the week, I really love the feeling when you get an interview. You get this great feeling that you are a worthy person, that you have worth. Now I must make it clear that my worth does come from my relationship with my Heavenly Father, but being unemployed does make you feel less than human alittle. The worse feeling is after the interview is over and all you have to do is wait, waiting is the hardest. And the longer you wait the more your self worth feels like it is being sucked out.

I really don't know how people willingly stay unemployed, I find it so hard. I have to make specific plans and lists to keep myself as busy as possible just to stop myself from getting down and depressed. But I will keep going, I need to get a job, so we can save more and get our house sooner. It is really good to have that goal, something to look towards.

Amazing things

Yesterday I was feeling down, funny how when you have been feeling down simple things can really pick you up. This morning I got up and cleaned the house, which is a surprisingly gratifing activitity. So gratifying that I even went to the trouble of cobwebing with tea tree oil (which helps to deter the spider from coming back). The house always feels bigger when it is freshly clean, though I don't think that our pet bird liked the vacum cleaner around his cage and favourite perch.

But the best thing about today was my new glasses finally turned up. A friend of ours told us about this website that she uses to buy her glasses, you can get a pair of glasses for as little as $8. I got two pairs for about $45, including postage and handling (I think). I have been waiting for these glasses for about 2 weeks now, I lost my last pair of glasses and have been getting loads of headaches. Funny thing is that I found my glasses that I lost on Monday while me and my husband were preparing for a bushwalk. I am going to give my old glasses to charity, there is a collection spot at my local shopping centre, they recycle the glasses and give them to poor people in thrid world countries.

It is amazing how simple things can really lift the way that you feel, I am going to have to try every day to focus on the simple things and not think about the fact that I don't have a job and all I really do all day is wait for my husband to get home. I think that is a really struggle for people who are unemployied, especially me. Have to give yourself things to achieve and be able to feel good about.

I'll post some pictures this week of my new glasses, they are so cute! Amazing how the little things can make your whole out look on things change.

This what it feels like....

I was reading my daily devotion this morning and I came across something that is so obvious but I had not thought about.

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.
Ecclesiastes 7:14

It came with the description 'Good times' can be less helpful than 'tough times'; and the 'hard times' can be better for you than the 'easy times'. Whatever changes and challenges come your way; whether planned or unexpected, whether you feel like you're going forward or sliding backwards - God is waiting for you to turn to him and know him.

I am defiantly going through 'hard times' at the moment, looking for work and going to interviews has been really hard especially emotionally. I will say the worse thing is being at home, especially when there is nothing to do, I just feel lost and very lonely. These are the times when I find myself wanting to pick up my bible and read, God is waiting for me.

My daily devotion comes from Word 4 U 2 day from UCB, you can get your own copy at their website www.word4u2day.com.au (only available postage in Australia), you can also read their devotions online.